Stay Positive

Staying positive is different for everyone, so what might work for me may not for you, but l thought l would share some ways that l try to stay up beat and optimistic.
Life always has its ups and downs, but there was a point in my life that l was more down then up. I was noticing that there were certain people and situations l was placed in that were bringing me down and l was also finding myself unable to say “no”, even when l was tired, or unhappy. About a year ago l started to focus on my own personal development and improving my outlook on life.  Although there are times l stumble backwards, l knew that building an optimistic outlook was key to reaching my goals and maintaining a healthy, happy and realistic lifestyle.
I have always tried to keep a positive attitude, but l knew that l had to concentrate on certain habits that were effective and smart so that l could stay positive and constructive even during rough times and keep working towards something better and rewarding.

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Adding value and positivity to someone’s life enriches my own. I think that what you send out there matters a whole lot, what you give and how you treat people is what you will get back. How you treat people and how you think of them also has a big effect on how you think about yourself.  It is important to give value and spread positivity. Boosting the mood, just by smiling or giving someone a hug can be encouraging and can, not only uplift your day but someone else’s. Anyone who knows me, knows how much l love hugs, giving them and receiving them. There is something about the embrace of someone that can make your whole day better.
Listening, sometimes people just don’t want direct help, but they just want someone to talk to, to vent out there frustrations, and just be heard.  Foster happiness by playing uplifting music, now more than ever, l crank my favourite tunes, in my studio, my car, while l am cooking. Music stimulates your soul, and music is a huge part of my positive energy.
 
Learn to take criticism in a healthy way. I know that l have touched base on this topic before on a previous blog, but l do think that a common fear for people is criticism. It can hold people back from doing what they love or want to try in life. Listening to negative feedback about you, can be hurtful and rejection can sting. It is going to happen, no matter what. What is most important, is  handling it in a healthy way.  I personally listen to the criticism and try to remain open and level headed about it. Is there something about the criticism that could help me?  Can l learn from this? It isn’t easy and l usually take a few deep breaths and a little time before l respond level headily or sometimes l just let it go, because no matter what, the content can be hurtful and you need to realize that it may not be about you.

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 I start my day in a positive way, as this will set the tone for the rest of my day. I make my bed every morning, because at the end of my day, when l am super tired, l am grateful that l can crawl into a nicely made bed. This is a ritual that took some getting use too, as l was not known to be a morning person, l am more of a night hawk. Making my bed is a way for me to kick start my positive thinking in the morning and help ramp up the power of happiness, it is now a routine, that l enjoy. I will admit, I am usually rushed most mornings, as l like to hit the snooze button a few times, but  once at work l am mindful to move through my day in the present moment. It is much easier to stay practical and happy about what you can actually do in that moment. Moving at a slower pace makes me more aware of what is going on around me. I am the kind of person who tends to move through life at a million miles a minute, so this has been a real transition for me. l am trying to smell the air, feel the sun, and enjoy the people and laughter around me.  Slowing down helps me refocus and not lose perspective on what needs to be done.
Refocusing on what really matters and not making a mountain out of a molehill has been a challenge, but l now  ask myself “will this really matter in a few days, weeks or even years?”  Sometimes you just need to chill out and ground your perspective on the situation. Being someone who suffers from anxiety a molehill can become a big and terrifying mountain in your mind, so l find it helpful to just breath, re-group, and focus. Take a time out.
 
In recent months, nurturing and surrounding myself in positivity has been my most improved development. Although l have been blessed with an amazing spouse the last ten years, who truly is my best friend, l noticed that l wasn’t always appreciating him. I have since realized that appreciation is key to successful relationships, not just with my spouse but with family and friends. Who you choose to spend time with and the input you get from social media and other devices can have a huge effect on your outlook. I now tend to surround myself and appreciate essential people who influence my life with support and lift me up instead of dragging me down, and also people who appreciate the same.  I think it is important to carefully consider who you or what you are letting into your mind.
I was finding that l was spending time with people who weren’t optimistic.  People who were so opinionated that it was emotionally exhausting and in turn was making me doubt my capabilities, strengths and in some ways hindered my confidence.
Ask yourself who the most negative people you spend time with are? And if there is a way to spend less time with those people and start spending more time with the most positive people and sources in your life, then I can assure you that you will find clarity and happiness.
For some, this will be a major change, but l am happy that l found the strength to cleanse my life of all those negative and stressful influencers.  This brings me to my next topic and that is not to let fear hold you back from doing what you want. Sometimes you just need to take a chance in life.
It can be hard, l know that common trap all too well.
I have learned to ask myself “what is the worst that could happen?” My mind can be fueled by fear and it creates the worst scenarios and lots of self-doubt, but thank goodness for the people that lift me up. I have over the years discovered that the worst thing that could realistically happen is usually not as scary as the nightmare l created.

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The basic habits of eating well, getting a good night sleep and exercising regularly maybe the obvious but l struggle to find time to do all 3, well maybe not the eating, as l tend to splurge and indulge way too much. But l do find it difficult to find the time to exercise regularly with my crazy schedule, which l need to diligently work on. I do know that l think clearly when l am not tense and tired so making a positive change to getting more sleep is still a goal l struggle with. So l have to be more careful about these basic habits as they do have a huge effect on your happiness depending on how you manage them.
 
 Some great opportunities have come my way in the last few months and although l have worked hard to achieve them, staying optimistic has been influential.  I believe that being positive, helpful and hopeful, can make a world of difference in the lives of others and in yours.

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Alice